The Bluebird Bet Page 19

  “Please, Dean, just stay tonight. There’s so much time to figure out what comes next.” Elaine held out a hand. “We still have to meet with the lawyer and the bank. Then there’s renovation. In the meantime, you can... I’ll even climb the mountain with you in the morning. The crazy way and everything!”

  She should be gloating. That was what winners did. Maybe that would have been enough to cause him to dig in, stay out of orneriness. Just as she’d done in the beginning because she wanted the Bluebird so badly.

  But now she wore the same worried expression his father did. Instead of being matter-of-fact about his loss, like she had during his confessions about the nightmares and insomnia, she was hurting for him.

  He hated that. It looked like pity.

  “I can’t stay.” He took her hand and drew her close for a goodbye kiss. Conscious of their audience, he pulled away before he was ready and the way she blinked slowly up at him eased the pinch of losing. “I have to...make some plans.”

  Edna patted his shoulder. “Good idea. Leave ’em wanting more. We’ll go look at rental property.” She rummaged in her tracksuit pocket. “Got the apartment for you.” She held out a card. They both ignored the way his hand trembled when he took it.

  A place of his own in Tall Pines? Was that what he really wanted next? What would he do? What would keep the nightmares away now?

  Maybe he should just get back to the job, pick up his camera and chase the old memories away with new ones. His stay at Spring Lake had been a nice vacation. Was it time to go to work, dodge some bullets, tell an important story? At least he’d be doing something with his life.

  He wasn’t sure what he said as he left but he was halfway across the yard when his dad shouted, “Dean, wait!” Half of him wanted to storm off. He’d trusted his father to make sure he won. Instead, he was lost again.

  But he hadn’t quite forgotten all the lessons he’d learned while rebuilding the Bluebird, so he turned slowly.

  “You forgot this.” His father held out his laptop and then pulled him close for a hug. “Wherever you want to go, we’ll go. Together.”

  When he stepped back Dean could see the promise in his father’s eyes, but that was the problem. He didn’t want to go anywhere.

  And he sure didn’t want to hold his father back now that he’d discovered living again.

  “Just consider it.” His father slugged his arm in another attempt to make sure they both knew everything was going to be fine. “Meet me at Jackie’s for breakfast. I’ll bring a map.”

  Instead of arguing, Dean nodded. Before he could get the door closed, Edna was hustling across the lawn. “Wait for me. I need a ride to town. Jackie drives like a maniac. Don’t know how he keeps a license.”

  Unable to fight the fatigue that settled over his shoulders or the firm stare of the small woman waiting impatiently next to his Jeep, Dean held Edna’s door open and waited for her to slide in. When he was settled behind the wheel, he took one last look at the Bluebird with the fresh paint and the dock he was going to miss in the middle of the night.

  And Elaine stood on the steps, framed beautifully by the bright blue shutters.

  She wiped under her eyes and wrapped her arms around her waist. Tears were just about the only emotion he hadn’t seen on her face. He hated seeing them now.

  He made a jerky turn to drive away and took a deep breath. Nothing was forever. The Bluebird would be around a lot longer than either him or Elaine.

  “All right, speed demon. Don’t make me regret my charitable impulse.” Edna had both hands braced on the dashboard. “Those red signs with the white letters mean stop, not speed up.”

  Dean tightened his grip on the steering wheel but lifted his foot off the accelerator.

  “In a hurry, are you? One setback and you’re headed out of town.” Edna sniffed. “All those stories and you’re just as scared as the rest of us.”

  He glanced over to see her slowly shaking her head. “Well, except the rest of us manage to stick around. We don’t run when things get hard.”

  Dean clenched his jaw to hold back his angry answer. The jab landed hard in his abdomen, just as she intended. Then he muttered, “Where should I let you out?”

  Edna grunted. “Take me to Shady Pines. Got some news to share. Time’s wastin’.”

  The urge to zoom through town was hard to fight but he did. As he passed a small strip of apartments, Edna jingled a set of keys. “You might not remember this, but I own those apartments. Unit four is lightly furnished and has a lovely view of the alley behind the Smokehouse.” She held a single key between her thumb and forefinger. “If you were to decide to try something new this time, to work through the disappointment and hurt, you could stay there. Rent free.” She put a hand to her chest. “Believe me, that offer pains me. That’s how you know I care.”

  He carefully took the key instead of snatching it out of her fingers. “You know, for someone who was supposed to be my judge, you’re taking this defeat well.”

  “I’ve still got high hopes for you, Dean Collins, all current evidence to the contrary,” Edna grumbled.

  Desperate for another solution, he braced his arm against the steering wheel and said, “Hope that I’ll do...what?” Maybe she had a clue to the third option, an alternative to going back to the only other life he’d lived.

  “Something new.” She patted his shoulder. “Dream bigger. Martha Collins raised a strong, brave man. Go ahead and prove it.”

  Before he could go open her door, Edna hopped out and slammed it shut. “You remember my new gallery, right?” She raised her eyebrows. “Seems like a man of your talents should investigate it. If you decide you’d like to be a part of our grand opening, you call me. You could be a big star here. I’m never wrong.”

  He had no time to answer because Edna was already hustling up the walk to Shady Pines, already enjoying the sweet taste of having fresh news no one could possibly have heard yet.

  Dean turned the key over and over in his hand as he stared through the windshield. Then he put the Jeep in Drive and headed slowly out of town.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “WELL...” HER MOTHER tried to start a new conversation, took a long look at her face and lapsed into silence again.

  Elaine didn’t blame her. Dean had left even after she’d asked him, almost begged him, to stay. The brave expression she’d plastered on until the judges and Robert Collins had disappeared had melted into an ugly mess. She was still collapsed in her rocking chair in the cheerful sundress she’d put on as a sign of faith that she’d soon be hosting visitors from her front porch. That vision had been clear in her head the whole time she’d been working on her plan to restore the Bluebird.

  The tense goodbye that had come after winning had never been a part of the plan.

  Why was getting exactly what she dreamed of breaking her heart?

  All the things she’d been working for could happen now. Her mother would come to stay. Her father could visit and bring his sons. They could even fish together. Get-togethers with the ladies from Purl’s Place would give her a chance to show off a beautiful home and distract people from her terrible knitting. Tea on the front porch. Fall planting. Visits from her own bluebirds. She was on track for all those things.

  But there would be no more Dean to challenge her or encourage her or make her feel safe and normal and real even when she messed up.

  He’d totally ruined her plan.

  And instead of being mad about that, all she wanted was for him to stay.

  At least the tears had finally stopped. She’d been afraid that once they’d started, they’d go on forever.

  How did her mother stand this pain let alone being out of control of her emotions again and again?

  “Are there any more of those apple dumplings left?” she asked without turn
ing her head. “Maybe you could shove one in my open mouth. Surely that will help.”

  Her mother laughed.

  Elaine wasn’t entirely sure she was joking.

  She stared out across the lake and tried to ignore how her eyes burned and she needed to blow her nose. Her mother held a plate out in front of her. After treating herself to a sugar overload, Elaine told herself to get a grip.

  “Winning that feels like losing. Have I completely lost my mind?”

  Her mother sighed and sat beside her. “Nope. Love will do that to you.” She patted Elaine’s arm. “I have been there.”

  And she kept trying. “Are you crazy, Mom? Hurting like this is worse than I remembered.” And she’d never do it again.

  “As bad as it hurts when it ends, love is awesome when it works.” The creaks of her mother’s rocker reminded her of the connection she’d felt with Dean, sitting there in that same spot. And she was absolutely right. Letting go, trusting someone else for once, had been freeing.

  She’d miss that connection until it came around again.

  Elaine had to admire her mother’s optimism in the face of so much heartbreak. Never giving up was its own form of bravery.

  All her life, she’d prided herself on doing hard things without fear. But she’d just let Dean walk away.

  You asked him to stay. That was brave, Elaine.

  “Love. That wasn’t supposed to happen. We just met. We don’t even have that much in common.” And if it was love, how could he walk away?

  Unless she was the only one experiencing it.

  “Forget about how it happened. Poets and songwriters have been trying to figure out what causes that spark for centuries. Worry about what you’re going to do about it.” Her mother’s pragmatic tone was hard to argue with.

  But for the first time in a long while, Elaine was stuck on what to do next. She’d asked Dean to stay, but he’d left. What else could she do?

  “For now, I’m going to focus on my plans. Tomorrow I’ll introduce you to my contractor. Then we’re going to the bank and the hardware store. I’ve got a promise to keep. I’m going to restore the Bluebird.”

  * * *

  “CONGRATULATIONS,” NICK SAID, clapping his hands together. “Robert gave me the go-ahead to begin demolition. Said you guys had hammered out the sale price, and all that was left was the paperwork. Ready for a new kitchen?”

  “So ready,” Elaine’s mother said with a sigh as she considered the ragged cabinets.

  Elaine ran a hand over the slanted counter and thought she might be sorry to see some of her hard work disappear.

  But it would be worth it. New Bluebird. New memories.

  Maybe Dean had been right all along.

  “Want to sling a sledgehammer?” Nick offered her the handle. “Tearing things up is fun.”

  Dean might say something like that. And he’d enjoy every bit of this.

  “No, I’ll leave that up to the professionals.” She turned to go. “I’m headed into town.”

  “Thank you for giving me this project, Dr. Watson. I love building new, but more than that, I enjoy making old things shine. This farmhouse is going to be amazing.” Nick ran a hand over the banister as he followed her to the front door. “Everything’s on order at King’s. Just approve it and write a big check.” His grin was contagious.

  “You’re not too sad about losing the marina?” While she’d been unable to sleep last night, she’d taken a page out of Dean’s book and listened to the night sounds from the end of the dock. The longer she’d sat there, the easier it was to imagine a marina, the traffic and the increased amenities for fishermen and their families.

  And it distracted her from wondering how Dean was making it through the night.

  “Not gonna lie. I was pumped to build it. That’s something I’ve never done, and I do like a challenge.”

  “Elaine does, too,” her mother said with a heavy sigh. “Always has.”

  “Do you still have the plans?” Elaine asked as she turned to look through the door at the lake. Maybe the marina was the missing piece she’d been looking for. “And if you do, could you use them but maybe move the location?” She stepped onto the porch and waited for Nick and her mother to join her before she walked to the dock. She pointed at the neck of the cove. “Over there. So we still have plenty of scenery.” And a peaceful dock for long nights.

  “You want to move the marina?” Nick propped his hands on his hips and studied the cove’s shoreline. “Shouldn’t be that hard, but it would double your budget. The biggest increase will be in laying utilities out there. I’ll need to get some quotes on that, but I could have you up and running by early fall and give you plenty of time to prepare for next spring.”

  The idea of doubling her budget made it hard to breathe. Buying and renovating the house would take every bit of her savings and the loan she’d already discussed with the bank. To get access to that much more money, she’d have to take another look at her plans, make forecasts and solid guesses on income, and go back to the bank.

  But Dean’s vision for the marina felt right. It was a bridge from the past to the future.

  “Okay,” Elaine said, “as soon as you can get me the cost, we’ll move forward. While I’m at the bank, I’ll start a new loan application, too.”

  Her mother bit her lip. “Are you sure? A mortgage that size is a serious commitment. Do you really want to stay in Tall Pines for the next ten years? Or longer?”

  Elaine studied her mother’s face. Did her mom want her to leave Tall Pines? In the end, it didn’t matter. This was home. She’d never let the Bluebird go.

  “Absolutely.” She held her hand out to Nick. “When can you start? We’ll need to open soon if I’ve got a mortgage payment every month.”

  “I’ve got a small crew that could start on the inn this week, but there’ll be permits and things to figure out on the marina. I’ll see what I can do to get the ball rolling. Right now.” The gleam in his eye said the marina would definitely open on time.

  “We can paint,” Elaine’s mother said. “Maybe save some money.”

  Things were starting to work out better than Elaine had expected.

  “Fine.” Nick turned to survey the hall. “Sure you want to keep the wallpaper? Won’t take us long to remove it, put up a nice, modern white.”

  From the beginning, Elaine had hoped to restore everything at the Bluebird the way it used to be. She stared up at the morning glories and tried to picture the entry without the blue flowers. She couldn’t.

  And she remembered her promise to Dean that if the morning glories in the garden didn’t return, she’d plant new vines. She knew now that she’d never be able to go back to the way things were. But she didn’t want to forget the good times, either.

  “Nope. The wallpaper stays.” She sighed. “But we are going to have to make some updates. New furniture. Bigger television.” She shook her head. “But I’m not mounting fish anywhere ever.”

  Nick frowned at the left turn the conversation had taken. “Sure. Makes sense.”

  With the new marina, Elaine would have to come up with ideas to attract fishermen for repeat visits. Dean had been right about that, among other things.

  Elaine followed Nick out to his truck. When the dust cloud settled behind him, she went to sit on the end of the dock.

  Somehow the peace she’d hoped to find there had disappeared.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  AFTER SHE FINISHED with her last patient of the day, Elaine headed for downtown Tall Pines. She had one goal: a gallon of paint to freshen up the room she’d chosen as her own. Instead of moving into the family quarters, she’d squeezed into a tiny closet-like space that had a nice view of the dock.

  Her mother had left that morning so she’d be home to work her Saturda
y shift at Bake and Take. Robert Collins had rolled out of town on Monday after his breakfast with Dean.

  Or so she’d heard through the grapevine.

  No one seemed to pass along the most important piece of the story: whether or not Dean was with him. Edna would know. Of course she would. She knew everything. But Edna was entirely too smart. If Elaine asked and found out that instead of leaving with Robert, Dean had packed up his ratty cutoffs and hit the road, she wasn’t sure she could keep it together. And Edna would understand why.

  All week long she’d been on an emotional roller coaster and feeling more and more like her mother every day.

  Still, she listened to all the conversations in her office, checked the after-hours emergency clinic rosters for any suspicious broken bones that might be caused by falling off a mountain and...waited. She wasn’t sure for what. When she slowed down, she held her phone like a talisman and debated whether to call him.

  That morning Nick had shown up bright and early to take the old kitchen down to the studs. The refrigerator had been moved to the garage, and that meant even cereal was a lot of work. Picking up a sandwich from the Smokehouse would take the last of her energy.

  Without her mother to distract her or the sounds of men tearing down the house, the weekend would be long and lonely. A project could help.

  King’s Hardware was busier than Elaine had expected. As she waited for Mr. King to hand over her paint, she wished she hadn’t agreed to give the new doctor at the after-hours clinic her shift. Fridays were crazy, the perfect distraction.

  Her phone beeped to remind her that she had a voice mail. She scrolled through her missed calls to see Dean’s number.

  Determined to be brave, she punched the button to listen to the message. “Elaine, it’s Dean. I just wanted to make sure you saw this week’s paper and... Well, I hope you’re doing well.”

  That was it. Elaine listened to the message again to be sure she hadn’t missed the five minutes in the middle where he professed his love or explained why he had to leave town.