A Minute on the Lips Page 19

  Ralph rolled his shoulders. “I just couldn’t... I didn’t want to live with the secret.”

  “What about Lori? And the boys? Didn’t you think about how this would affect them?” Andi’s voice was getting louder. Even Jackie looked concerned.

  “They didn’t have anything to do with it. And if it’s too much for her, I’ll understand.” Ralph shook his head. “Wouldn’t blame her anyway. I did a stupid thing.”

  Ralph twisted the towel he was holding. “But I gave my word to Jackie and Miss Mona that I won’t ever talk about what I mighta seen in the safe. Not even to Lori. That’s a promise I won’t break.”

  Andi believed him. She had no idea why. He was a thief, but maybe the same understanding that made Jackie ready to make amends had convinced Ralph to keep Mona and Jackie’s secret.

  “It takes a man to own up to his mistakes,” Jackie said. “Why don’t you go talk to your wife? A little explaining can sometimes go a long way.” He spoke like a man who’d had plenty of opportunities to learn that lesson the hard way.

  Ralph glanced at the clock. “Got two more hours today, Jackie.”

  Jackie waved a hand. “Get back before the dinner rush. Go now.”

  Ralph untied his apron and folded it on the counter. Then he said, “Sheriff, I appreciate everything you did.” She believed him, but she was so disappointed in the way everything had turned out after all her investigating and her perfect solution.

  Andi slid onto a stool, and Jackie poured a glass of tea in front of her. “Helluva thing. I’m not too sure about him, but I gotta respect wanting to tell the truth.”

  Andi snorted and picked up the glass. “Weren’t you the one so determined to keep Wanda’s secret for leverage and to protect Mona’s secret?”

  Jackie propped his hands on his hips. “Ralph’s admitted where he was wrong. I can, too.”

  Andi nearly strangled on the tea, but she coughed a few times and set the glass down.

  He pointed a finger at her. “Don’t go telling anybody.”

  Andi shook her head and stood up. She felt as if she’d run a marathon—every movement was hard work.

  “Going to talk to the newspaper man?” Jackie asked. “I think he’s sitting on my bench.”

  Andi looked out the window. Mark Taylor was waiting for her apparently.

  “Sheriff, you should know...he came by to interview me and Ralph approached him, not the other way around. Taylor...he might have let it go after I said no comment. Impossible to know now, but...I thought you might need to hear that.”

  Jackie seemed concerned. Andi couldn’t imagine how devastated she must look to have softened Jackie’s heart, but she appreciated the effort.

  When she stepped onto the sidewalk, Mark turned but he didn’t smile. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it? Twenty?” Mark Taylor without a smile and good humor shining in his eyes was rare. He looked tired. And grimly determined.

  Andi paced in front of him and tried to figure out what to say. Nothing would come. “Ralph told me he’s your source.”

  Mark nodded.

  “I guess I can’t say anything to that.” She waved her hand. She hated feeling helpless. And tired. And disappointed. “Oh, except I think you knew how I’d feel. I had it all worked out. Jackie was happy. Ralph was sorry and ready to make amends. But...now.”

  Mark leaned forward to brace his arms on his knees. “But now the story’s out. Everyone knows it. And they know the truth. Not just the facts, but the whole truth. The whys and the hows—they’re all out at once.”

  “And Lori’s crying and Ralph thinks his wife is going to leave and doesn’t blame her and there are two little boys who won’t understand a thing about that. Ray Evans will be on the warpath, and all I wanted to do was...” She stopped and propped her hands on her hips while she tried to figure out what she really wanted to say.

  “All you wanted was to make it all perfect again. For everyone. Ralph understands there will be consequences. Next week Jackie’s going to do a follow-up story about the cook-off, what it means to have everything back and how Ralph’s helping in the restaurant. There’s the whole story. I mean, Andi, I understand you. I know what you want. You want perfection, mostly from yourself. You want everything tied up in neat bows, but not even Tall Pines is like that. It doesn’t mean you haven’t done a great job or that Ralph and Lori and their boys can’t be happy now. The truth is out. Why talk about it anymore? Jackie’s made it clear he’s satisfied. Thanks to you, Ralph has a job and it’s the perfect way to show the whole town who he is. I did my job. You did yours. Justice. Truth. They’re tied together.”

  He meant every word. Andi shook her head. “But...you knew how I felt. You did something you knew would hurt me and you didn’t even warn me. What am I supposed to think about that?”

  Mark was serious as he stood and took her hands in his. “I didn’t do it to hurt you. If you think I did it lightly, you’re wrong. But it was the right thing. And if you think I’m going to be afraid to do the right thing because it ruffles feathers, even if they’re yours, you don’t know me. You wouldn’t like me, either, if that’s who I was.”

  Andi pulled her hands from his and looked up at him. He had a point but that didn’t make her feel better. There was an ache in her chest, and she could feel the sting of unshed tears. She didn’t want to walk away from him. “Maybe you’re right. But I just don’t know if I can trust you with me, if I can live with the threat of the front page hanging over my head.”

  “Andi, not one word of that story came from you.” He shook his head with a bitter laugh. “I don’t know if I can spend time with a woman who thinks I can’t tell the difference between what’s news and what isn’t, what’s really important and what isn’t.”

  Andi licked her lips. “I guess, maybe...let’s just hold off on this discussion until after the election, okay? Maybe I just need...”

  “Time.” Mark’s voice was hard. “Yeah, me, too.”

  Andi nodded and walked back to the sheriff’s office.

  * * *

  WHEN THE NIGHT of the debate rolled around, Andi was too tired to be nervous. Losing had started to feel inevitable, so Andi began looking at other sheriff’s departments in neighboring counties and had even checked out the application procedure for the state police. She spent her time with Tammy or Gram drilling her on crime statistics, where they’d apply grant money in the upcoming year, her plans for improved community outreach, and the new domestic-violence education program she wanted to roll out.

  And she did not text Mark. But she’d missed him desperately—missed his face, his smirk, his way of cutting through her reserve. She’d liked having him to bounce ideas off of or just listen. The more she thought about it, the clearer it was that even if she’d never made the decision to trust him, she’d done it anyway. Without a conscious thought. That said a lot about him and it scared her to death. She still wasn’t sure what to do about him, about leaving Gram, about a job. It felt like the whole world was balanced on this election.

  Just before she stepped up on the stage she heard her phone ding.

  Good luck tonight, beautiful sheriff.

  Andi looked up to see Mark behind the moderator’s table. He smiled and she smiled back. The nervous butterflies in her stomach went wild, but she was nearly sure they had nothing to do with the debate.

  With a sharp squeal of feedback from the microphone, Mayor Jones got the attention of the audience, a group of people seated in lawn chairs around the grass. Fall had arrived just in time and everyone was wearing fleece in the hometown colors. Andi was looking at a sea of crimson and black. She hoped that wasn’t an omen.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your attention, we’ll get the debate started. We’ve allotted thirty minutes for this event and we plan to get the entertainment started right on time.�
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  The crowd quieted down, and Mayor Jones hit Ray with the first question. He and Mark traded back and forth in the beginning, asking questions about statistics and revenue and plans to expand the department. Ray and Andi were a chorus of two. Their answers were nearly identical so she couldn’t fault Ray’s logic. Tall Pines was a comfortable town with little crime and not a whole lot of revenue to play with. The only improvements that could be made involved updated systems and new hires. Ray and Andi both wanted those things. Andi had no idea why people didn’t bail except the musicians were already anxiously lined up along the stage.

  “My final question is this.” The mayor paused and waited for everyone to quiet down. “We know both of you. Tell us what makes you the best candidate. Ray, why don’t you go first?”

  Ray cleared his throat. “Well, now, I’ve got to say I’ve learned a lot from watching Sheriff Jackson. She’s increased our involvement in the schools and in the community in ways I admire and plan to continue and improve. But the honest truth is that Sheriff Jackson has not been transparent with the citizens of Clinton County. I plan to change that. I’d like to believe Sheriff Jackson has other ideas that would benefit Tall Pines. My goal is that she will continue to serve as a part of my staff. She has done a sound job as sheriff. I think she has more to offer and hope she’ll do so.”

  Andi looked over at Ray and he looked away. It was almost an apology, but he’d done it so well that he looked like the bigger man. She glanced at Mark, and he shrugged. She hadn’t prepared for this.

  “My qualifications and experience make me the best candidate.” Andi glanced at her grandmother and added, “I grew up in Tall Pines. I know this town and you all know me. I want to serve here.” She wanted their votes because she needed the job. That was the honest answer, but Andi was almost sure that wasn’t the winning answer.

  “Sheriff, Mr. Evans brought up a valid point. Would you care to address the sheriff’s department’s communications?” Mark leaned back in his chair and winked at her.

  Andi looked out over the crowd. All the girls from the Hair Port were there and so were Miss Margaret and Edna. She could see both Amanda and Sarah from the Smokehouse and Fat John was seated in the crowd. So were all the deputies and Lori and her family. Tammy was there with Gram. And Andi decided she was done hiding. If she was going to stay in Tall Pines, they were supposed to be her family, too.

  Finally, Andi took a deep breath. “Ray does bring up a good point about communication, although I don’t believe the department was a great deal more transparent under his leadership.” She glanced his direction and he tugged on his shirt collar. “The fact of the matter is that I am not sworn to transparency.” Andi watched Edna’s eyebrows shoot up. “I am not sworn to dispel speculation or to satisfy idle curiosity. I am sworn to protect. That is the first and highest goal of my job and it’s the guide for all I do.”

  A few people in the crowd nodded and Andi felt stronger.

  She laughed. “Even when you don’t seem to appreciate it, I try to keep the good of the whole county in mind. I’ve had a conversation with a very smart man about the difference between the facts and the truth and it all boils down to getting the whole story.” She glanced at Gram. “So here’s some truth. I may not be as transparent as you like because I spent a lot of time being the focus of the stories, the center of gossip when I had absolutely nothing to do with the cause and no way to fix it. My father left. He didn’t feel one single minute of the shock or scorn or pity or fascinated judgment my mother and I did. So I am sensitive to the effects of words, and I’ll always do my best to hold on to that. It makes me compassionate, and that’s a good thing to have whether you’re the victim of a crime or the victim of a loved one’s stupid decisions.”

  Gram nodded and Andi took another breath. “And I’ve made my own mistakes. I was gone for too long, but I haven’t forgotten the importance of family. Tall Pines is where I need to be. And I’ll admit I’ve probably gone too far—communicating as little as possible through the newspaper and other sources. I was trying to protect myself instead of serving Tall Pines. And that’s a mistake.”

  She looked at Mark but his face was hard to read. “I know everyone remembers the domestic-violence article I was quoted in when I first took office. And I said every one of those things that made you all so angry, but some of what I said didn’t make it in. I talked about how the people of Tall Pines look out for their neighbors, care for them, do the right thing even when it’s hard. Because we’re family. I meant it then, but I understand it better now. I’ve done a good job. So has Ray Evans. I expect this to be a close election, but you’re all going to have to judge me on my record.”

  And Andi was done. She wanted to drop the mic and walk off stage, but it was attached to the podium so she couldn’t move until the whole thing was over. She had to stand up there and stare back at the crowd. Mayor Jones looked at his watch. “Thank you for coming out. We hope tonight will help you make your decision when you go to the polls.”

  They were whisked off and before Andi’s feet touched the grass next to the stage, a fiddle was tuning up.

  “You did so good up there.” Tammy hugged Andi’s neck, and it was impossible to tell what she really thought. Andi decided then that she wasn’t going to second-guess what people said anymore. It only wore her out.

  “I did, didn’t I? And it feels good. Maybe it was enough.” Andi shrugged and tried to still the shivers of nervous energy. She wished Mark would wrap his arm around her but he kept his distance. She really wouldn’t blame him if he kept his distance permanently. He’d helped her, and she’d reacted like her old self instead of trusting what she knew about him. This time she would have done better to look at the plain black-and-white facts. Mark had printed the story, but he hadn’t used their relationship against her.

  Gram reached up to take her hand. “You look completely worn-out. Let’s get out of here.” It was a good suggestion. Andi glanced over her shoulder to see Mark and his mother walking in the direction of the newspaper office. The separation between them made her sad. She did her best not to cry as she helped Gram back to her unit.

  “So, you haven’t patched things up with Mark yet?” Gram asked as she moved to her recliner.

  Andi rubbed her face with her hands. She was so tired. “I’m not sure how to.”

  Gram snorted. “Well, you’re going to have to forgive him. You did what you thought was right. He did, too. And that’s a hard thing to hold against a man.”

  Andi was afraid she was right, and with every second she waited, it got harder to acknowledge. “I think I’ve already forgiven him, but asking him to forgive me for...not trusting him, that’s harder somehow.”

  Maybe forgiveness had been her problem all along. And maybe she was the only one holding on to the past, letting it color every single day. Pulling back, shutting down communication with the people in town, that had been a mistake. Was she making another one with Mark?

  “Well, now, that’s a whole different question. You never have been very good at admitting you were wrong, have you?” Gram’s face was serious, but Andi could see the spark in her eyes. Gram wasn’t going to tell her what to do about Mark, but she had faith Andi would figure it all out. Sometimes, Andi wouldn’t mind a few step-by-step suggestions. “How about this? Edna was fairly well enraged when she read that story in the newspaper. She’d gotten a few tidbits here and there, but your man flat-out stole her thunder.” Gram wrinkled her nose, and the twinkle in her eyes boosted Andi’s spirits.

  “Somehow that does make me feel better, Gram.” Andi laughed as she bent to kiss her cheek. “I’ll come by at the normal time in the morning?”

  Gram patted her shoulder. “No, you’re tired. Nettie’s going to pick me up to go grocery shopping and then we’ll head over to Purl’s Place. Why don’t you sleep in?”

  Andi felt a twist in her chest
at the change of routine. She was the one Gram relied on, but it was as if...she needed Andi’s help less and less. She had so many friends, so much to do, that Andi was starting to feel less important.

  Gram smiled up at her as she shooed her out. “Get on home. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

  “Sure thing, Gram.” Andi forced a smile and then carefully locked the door.

  As she walked back to her SUV parked on Main Street, Andi couldn’t figure out how she felt. She was relieved the debate was over. And in just a few days, she’d know whether she was unemployed. Ray’s offer was out there, and she needed to get back to Marcus Hightower. And then there was Mark. She hated seeing him but not being with him. She paused in front of the newspaper office and was not really surprised when the door swung open and he stepped onto the sidewalk.

  “Excellent investigative skills, Mr. Taylor.” She pointed at the SUV, but then she had the stupid-hands syndrome again and crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

  When he wrapped his arms around her, she sighed with relief.

  “I wanted to congratulate you and...I don’t know. Apologize?” Mark said, “But mostly I want to hold you. I’ve missed you.”

  When he didn’t continue, Andi tilted her head up to look at him.

  Mark’s lips tightened before he said in a rush, “I don’t know how far we can go if you can’t trust me. I can’t live like that, not again.”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

  Mark shook his head.

  “Okay, maybe it is a little bit, but I am listening to you. I reread the story after Ralph told me he was the one who’d talked to you and I could see that...your story told the whole truth and not just the facts. I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion.” She rested her head on his shoulder. That was the best she could do for now.

  She shivered as a cool breeze moved between them.